How do you explain your heart exploding? How to put into words the way it feels to have 100 joyful Kenyan children stealing your heart? What words can describe the overpowering sensation knowing those passionate songs of praise you cannot understand are being sung to the same God that you passionately love and serve?
I don't have words. I can't, and almost don't even want to try. We have done SO much since we have been here. You've read about that in the other blogs. But right now, I just want to share these feelings with you...as best I can anyways.
The missionaries we came to work with established a school in Mtepani Village called Mbewau Academy, and that is where we've been staying the past 4 days.
When we arrived we were "greeted". I'll post a video later. All 200 of the kids were lined up along side the driveway, singing and dancing for us upon our arrival. I've NEVER been so moved. They didn't know us, but they knew why we were there and they were so happy to see us. The smiles....man...I knew it was going to blow me away but I had no idea it would be that intense. They were singing songs of praise for us, then they started singing "Father Abraham (its Abraheem in Kenya haha) had many sons..." absolutely the cutest thing ever. We went down both rows to say hi to all of the kids and shake all of their hands - I was moved to tears. Their faces radiate joy, even when they aren't smiling. Their smiles are really an attempt to cover their extreme excitement at seeing us - they want to jump up and down. Being loved before ever being known...wow hello God. I immediately loved each one of them. I wish they were at the school all day long so that I could get to know each and every one of them personally. They are beautiful! Their hearts are so joyful, so grateful, so loving! Boy do they ever know how to love!!!
My words simply aren't doing me justice right now. The video later will show you. I forgot my camera and am currently at a coffee shop blogging.
Yesterday we went out to evangelize in the village. We left at 9am and were out until noon. All of the kids in the village followed us everywhere. It is so wonderfully completely different from America. We were the main attraction haha. There were three little girls in particular that were with me the whole time. They spoke very little English and I "ninajua Kiswahili kidogo" or spoke very little Swahili. However, my wonderful friend Emily Earl gave me a Swahili dictionary and I made the most conversation I could with them using that. While the group I was with were telling the lady about the gospel (via the translator of course), I took the three little girls off to the side and was talking with them. (OH AND PS - THE LADY THE TEAM WAS TALKING TO ACCEPTED CHRIST!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! PRAISE THE LORD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!) We were given gospel tracts to share with the people in the village - its in English and in Swahili - and I was attempting to share it with them. I told them (in what little Swahili I could muster from the dictionary) that it was about God, that God is important, the tract was important, and that God loves them. I told them (or tried to) that the tract was a zawadi (gift) for them to keep, after making sure they could anasoma (read).
The language barrier was so intense. The translator that was with our group was talking to the lady, and I was trying to make conversation with these girls on my own. Words cannot successfully convey how intensely I wanted them to know about God, and the wonders of Him, and His insanely beautiful, deeply passionate love for them. Showing and sharing affection is minimal between Kenya people, so for them to know God's love would blow their minds. I kept having to tell them "Sifahamu" which means "I don't understand" because they would just start talking to me non-stop in Swahili, not realizing that I was only talking from the dictionary. My heart is SO heavy for those girls. I have no idea if they understood what I was saying or not. I have no idea if they fully understood the importance of what I was telling them. That kills me. I don't know what happened to that tract after we had to go our separate ways. I can only hope and pray that they kept it and maybe, just maybe actually tried to read it.
Please be praying for them. Their names were Sara, Wanamisa, and Watake (to the best of my understanding). I just wanted to share the joy of the Lord with them. I wanted to tell them how stinking awesome He is. I wanted them to know how insanely much He loves them. I wanted them to share the joy of knowing Him intimately with me. They don't go to a Christian school so I don't think they have ever heard of Jesus. I just wanted to tell them. And I could do so, so, so little. My heart was reaching out to them. My heart was captivated by them. My heart is theirs, and I could do so little. I can't explain to you how frustrating that is, how much it breaks my heart. I don't even know where they live so I probably can't go back and talk to them. Nevertheless, I trust my God. I know He works beyond language barriers. I know what I see and hear is nothing to Him. He knows no limits and works through all things. I trust that what little conversation took place, He used and is still using it. I trust and know that He is bigger than all of these barriers I think I see. I trust that it was a seed. I have to, because otherwise I would beat myself up and be so frustrated that I couldn't tell them more. Honestly, its really hard not to do that. But I'm so blessed to have the amazing God that I have, that works wonders and miracles despite all barriers because He has no barriers. Its hard. It's really really really hard. But I do trust him. I do.
Today we went to a church in the village. The pastor of the church is the head cook at Mbewau (the school we were staying at). God blew my mind today (again, as He does so often). Meeting all of these people here in Kenya that are Christians, my perception has been so off. Their natural demeanor is to show little expression, so when I've heard them talk about Christ it seemed so nonchalant. It seemed as if they were more like "yeah I believe, I guess. It's whatever" rather than being passionately devoted and lovingly following Him. That assumption was completely destroyed today at church. There were actually two sermons - the first from the assistant pastor, then from the head pastor Kafani (the head cook at the school). In between the two, the youth choir from the church came up and sang. Mind you: This church is made of sticks, mud, and dried palm leaves. The floor is sand and there is no AC or anything. They have their voices and whatever they can find to be a drum, if they can find anything. And they love it.
The youth choir was BEAUTIFUL. They were sang two songs in English, and the other 4 were Swahili. They clap, dance, sway, and raise their hands - all to worship. Its so unlike any church service I have been to. During the Swahili songs, I couldn't understand anything other than God and Jesus, but my heart was overjoyed. During this moment of worship, when I had no idea what was going on, I knew fully that they were worshiping to the exact same God I worship. Without any doubt, I knew God heard every word clearly. I knew with all of my heart that He was so insanely joyful in hearing their praise. In that moment of worship with them, as I was clapping, swaying, lifting my hands with the biggest grin on my face, God came to me and sweetly told me, "KaRonna, they are worshiping me too. I love them, just as much as I love you, and they love me just as much as you do. We have the same relationship. Nothing is different. Listen to them. They are rejoicing in me, and look at what they have. Just look, watch, listen, and be still. My presence is here. I love them. I love you. Listen." Commence the intense tears with the insane grin on my face. It was beyond beautiful. My God that I love and cherish with all that I am, knew every word they were singing, even when I did not. My God that sent me across oceans to come share the gospel, is already living in the hearts and souls of some of these people as fully as He is in me. Wow. Wowowowowowowowowowow. Words and letters can't fully explain the immensity and intensity of that. It hit me right where I needed it to.
THEN when the pastor, Kafani, began to speak, the passion with which he shared his message had him shouting and moving all around the church floor expressing his intensity. It was insane. I wasn't prepared for it at all but it moved me beyond words to hear this man, in a "poverty stricken" village in Kenya passionately preaching the Word of God. His love of the Lord is absolutely radiant. The way the Lord has captivated His heart is so so apparent. I had NO idea what he was saying in Swahili, but it was being translated for us and I was amazed by the words coming out of his mouth. I didn't think I came to Kenya with any expectations, but apparently I brought along Americanized assumptions. I am so incredibly thankful those have been demolished.
I could go on for days about all of this. This pastor just blew my mind because - this man, he has NOTHING! Those kids in the youth choir - they have NOTHING! But they DO have God. And they have Him fully, deeply, passionately. They KNOW him, worship Him, honor Him, love Him. They know Him just like I do - if not even more so. And here I was thinking that these remote village people knew nothing...
Thank God for all the missionaries that have traveled before us to share the gospel. Thank God for the insane ways He has crossed all language barriers. Praise God for the blessings He has showered on the hearts of these people the rest of the world tends to see as ignorant and unfortunate. God is everywhere, even when we don't think we see him there. He is across all language barriers, even when we can't understand them. God is in the hearts of the poor, the lives of the "ignorant", the circumstances of the "unfortunate".
Our God is everywhere, especially those unreached places He has called us to go and make disciples of.
"Therefore go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, and teaching them to obey everything I have commanded you. And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age." Matthew 28:19-20
God has sent us. We have followed. We are insanely blessed. Thank you for your prayers. Thank you. God is moving radically here. Thank you.
Love you all insanely much! Pictures, videos, and more stories to follow later!
Lala Salama (Good Night!)
- With all my heart from Kenya,
KaRonna (Kadzo)
*Kadzo is the African name that was given to me that means beautiful*
